Dear Anyone,
I had a date last night!!!!! And it was really nice thank you... well it was about 95% really nice, and slightly disappointing at the end. It was with the guy I told you about earlier - the one I liked 10 years ago. We'll call him 'Bumper' (and if he reads this - which I hope he doesn't - he'll know why).
We've been speaking quite regularly, via text and phone conversations, and when asked me to pencil him in for Saturday, I didn't think it would actually happen, so I really did write it in pencil in my Filofax. He has a tendency to let me down, and it's something I constantly make fun of him about... Hmm... maybe I should actually take note of that...
Anyway, we met up at about 10.30pm (my fault - I was the one running late) and we went to a pool place that he goes to quite often. He was really quite chivalrous to be honest - me first through the door, he paid for my entry, paid for the table and paid for the drinks. It was a really nice evening, never awkward at any time. We joked around a lot, flirted a bit (but never in an extremely obvious way), I let him win *cough* three games, and we chatted. We left the pool place at about 2.30am, and didn't actually know what to do next, so we ended up walking up the high street till we could think of something to do. I won't lie... I was waiting for him to suggest going back to his, because it was the most obvious decision for that time of night in an area where everything is shut, and going back to my place (which seriously lacks privacy) wasn't an option for me. But he never said. As much as I tried to prompt him into saying it, he didn't. We ended up stopping to sit at a bus stop - well actually I sat, and he stood in front of me with his legs either side of mine (very suggestive but nice!) - and we were still umming and ahhing about what to do next, so I said: "We have two choices... we either get a drink and go back to yours, or we both get in our cabs and go home." Then he said, "My daughter would kick your arse if you came back to mine," and he laughed. Obviously the alarm bells started ringing in the distance, and I said: "Oh, she's at your house.." and he said "Yep." So naturally the next question was "With who... her mum?" And he said: "With her mum and my mum..." I thought "OKAY!" Then he started looking really troubled and slightly agitated, and said that if I knew about his situation then I'd understand why he is the way he is sometimes. So I told him to tell me what it is, and he said that now wasn't the right time, but he will tell me soon because he has to and he wants to. I asked him: "Are you getting married or something?" and he said "No nothing like that, although I've been getting hassled about that for the past 6 years." Okaaaay. Right. So... what the feck is it then?! I asked him if it's something that will upset me, and he said it shouldn't, but when he told one of his friends, she said it was sad, and the last girl he told accused him of being a liar. Then, because I went a bit quiet, he asked me what I was thinking, so I said to him: "I'm thinking... I really want to know what it is you have to say, and obviously you're not comfortable telling me now, but at the same time I've had a really nice evening and I don't want to spoil it by going home upset. But I also don't want it to a case of I'm sitting here, enjoying the company of someone else's man, because I've been through that crap before and I've had enough of it." He just nodded his head and said "I hear you, I hear you."
After that I decided that we should just call it a night and take our cabs home, but he decided he was going to walk around for a bit to clear his head. I didn't realise it was THAT deep. He told me to call him when I got home, which I did, and we spoke for almost an hour.
I just really want to know what the 'thing' is, but I'm also starting to think that the Universe doesn't want anything to occur between us.
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